going back a little ways, i want to post about something i figured out while i was up at davis.
i ate lunch by myself on the first day before orientation started (well... jamba juice). as i sipped on my smoothie, my legs carried me to borders. this store had a different floorplan than the one closer to home, but the smell of the store was the same. that freshly-bound book smell. and then when you walk on over to the cafe, the aroma of coffee hits your nose. who would have thought that those two scents would be even better when put together? and then i thought to myself: just a moment ago, i was walking the streets of downtown davis not knowing where the hell anything was, and then the next moment, i'm inside a familiar bookstore. that smell brought back a nostalgic feeling. i missed anaheim so much more than i thought. but in this bookstore, home didn't seem 500 miles away. i half dreamt that if i took a step outside, i'd be in anaheim again. a sanctuary, perhaps.
so i browsed the familiar aisles-- astrology, poetry, and fiction. one poetry book caught my eye in particular. i don't remember who the author was nor the title (i should have written it down), but the contents, i remember well. the vortex of the theme was about change, how one will never find his true identity because the world is constantly changing. true, maybe. or maybe it's our identity that is constantly changing. nevertheless, you have an identity. stable or volatile, your character is there. it's just... "adapting" to situations, per se.
sometimes though, it's hard to change yourself (or more so, the way you think), because it takes a lot of time and will to achieve this "ideal self". but a change is good. there are going to be bad ones, of course, but change is well... a change. having the comfort of consistency is nice, but what will you learn? all our life lessons are learned because we change. when you were an infant, you learned how to walk because it was an inconvenience to crawl on the streets (besides, that would scrape up your knees quite a bit). i myself did not crawl. i never crawled. i went from sitting to walking. i never had that middle phase, so i wouldn't really know much about the stages, but that is irrelevant. we are all different. that is why we respond to change differently as well. but i want to tell you all-- if change comes your way, brace yourself for a refining of yourself. and nothing will be quite the same thereafter.
it's better to oblige to change rather than to dismiss it. easier said than done, but future will prove you otherwise.
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